I sit up, moving so suddenly and quickly that I startle my caregivers. I'm yelling at them, "What the hell! Let me go!"
I try to stand, but there's something wrapped around me, holding me down.
The nurse runs across the room, rapidly telling me to calm down, that it's all right, and she'll undo the strap. She explains that they had to do something. I was walking in my sleep.
Walking in my sleep? I haven't done that in years. I'm stunned into momentary inaction, sitting up in the hospital bed, looking at the nurse like she's grown a second head. As I sit there, everything starts coming back to me; my relationship with the gray haired woman, the terrible things we've been through, and what the creepy guy has done to her. I can feel a bruise on my arm from the shot I was given. The nurse sees the expressions crossing my face as the memory plays through my head, and pauses in her approach, and gives me a wary look.
She says, "Are you in control, or are you going to be a problem?"
Her hand is on her pocket. The shape is too big for a syringe. I think she may be holding a taser.
I struggle for a moment, as the weight of my outrage at what I've learned tries to overpower my hold on logic and reason. I can't fight him this way. This is what he feeds on. He'd just use it to turn me against myself. He'd destroy everything we've fought for. I may not understand much of what is going on, but I understand that.
I can't be not angry. It's too much. I can't know what he is and what he's done without having an emotional response to that knowledge. It would be stupid to try to deny that. I just have to not be controlled by how angry I am. I can be angry and reasonable at the same time. I have to, or we're lost.
I can feel energy building up around me. I've been unconsciously pulling. I'm inside of something that looks kind of like a flame. I gather it into myself, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly, sending the energy back where it came from. I tell the nurse I'm all right. I find the buckle on the belt, and I get up.
I'm still wearing the footie pajamas and puppy slippers. Grateful as I am for the comfort and rest, this isn't going to do. I need to be taken seriously. I take them off and stand in the middle of the room, and close my eyes. I try to clear my mind, but it's not going to happen. Meditation just isn't my thing. I can't be not angry. I just can't.
When I open my eyes, there is clothing on the couch. I meant to make it materialize all ready on me, but this is good enough. At first, it looks like there's two of everything, but then I realize, there's a set of clothes, and a set of armor. The clothes are soft, dark, and thin. They won't constrict or weigh me down. The armor looks like leather, and it's as light as paper, but it feels cold, like metal. The top looks like an oversized long sleeve tee shirt, and it's flexible. It seems to be crocheted. The rest looks like it was designed for rollerblading or skateboarding. There are pieces shaped like pads for the thighs, knees, and lower legs. They're arranged the way they're supposed to be worn. It's not designed for full coverage. Instead, I can feel that the pieces are connected by some kind of energy running over the whole thing. When I pick up top "pads" for the legs, the lower ones come with them.
I put on the clothes, and the armor. I head out into the lobby. There, the doc is waiting for me. The others are all gone. Doc asks if I'm sure I'm ready to do this. I'm not, but I'm going to do it anyway, and I think he knows that. What else can I do? I can't just hide in here forever. Eventually, it would be more like being imprisoned than having been given asylum, and if they were to find a way to come in after me, it would cease to be a neutral place.
The doc asks me what I'm going to do about the connection, and my shield. The reminder feels like being punched in the chest, and the expression on my face earns me a stern look. He says, "How are you going to survive if you're not ready to deal with that?"
I realize that I have no idea how to proceed. I got the feeling that the ceremony was more than just symbolic. Otherwise, she might be able to break through my emotional defenses, but she shouldn't be able to banish my shield like she does. I ask the doc why she can affect my control of energy, but I can't just work through the same connection to prevent him from changing her. He explains that I can affect her control of energy, too, but not her thoughts and feelings, and not his influence. That's why she hasn't really attacked me, because I would just be able to absorb, deflect, or diffuse the energy, just as she is. The one time I was able to affect her, it was because she wasn't expecting me to lash out. She let her guard down then, but it won't be down again. He also tells me that she's not the same spirit that she was, any more than I am the same. Just as the object I absorbed corrupted me, his energy has corrupted her. I'm going to continue to attract more things like him, and unless I release her, every single one of them is going to try to use her to manipulate me.
For a moment I don't understand what he's telling me, and then I do. There is no "the" key, but as long as I'm attached to her, she's a key, and she'll never be safe or free.
I tell him I understand, and then I start focusing on finding the place within myself where the connection is. I've unconsciously put my hands over my heart. The doc watches for a second, then stops me and explains that magic was involved in creating the bond, and energy work is required to break it. He tells me I have what I need, and I realize that in my hands, I'm holding the unity candle from our ceremony. I can see now that it's a ceramic oil lamp made to look like a candle, so that it can't diminish from burning. I understand what I have to do.
The room wavers. I'm standing in front of the door. I can feel that the "asylum" illusion is fading because I've decided to leave. If I hesitate, I'll disrupt the others' illusions, and their healing processes. The door opens, and I step out into the sunlight.
When I do, the building behind me kind of vanishes, and there's just a big parking lot. Off to my left and right are an empty street, bordered by empty sidewalks. I see the parking garage on the other side. Quickly, I surround myself with another shield, covering it with spikes, and back against a wall. Across the street, the two of them see me, and rush forward. They stop when the shield goes up. He gives her a look, and she advances on me, asking, "Why do you keep wasting your energy?"
When she's about six feet away, I hold up the candle-lamp. She stops and looks at me, and asks, "Where did you get that?" She looks confused and nervous, and suddenly I don't want to do this. I want to grab her and run back into the asylum, but I know that even though it's "there," it's not there, and it's not an option. I hold the lamp out in front of me and pour the oil on the sidewalk. I tell her "I reject you, body, mind, and spirit. I am not your partner. I am not one with you. We are unique, and separate from each other. You are not permitted to touch me." I force myself to feel separated from her, then throw the lamp down. It shatters on the pavement at her feet, and I feel like someone just ripped out my heart. I fight to not take it all back. My stomach is sick. Her face twists in shock and disbelief, then I can see tears, and she quietly says two syllables in gibberish. I don't know what the word means, but hearing it is like a kick in the gut, and I can't look at her face any more.
The creepy guy yells at her. "What is wrong with you? Take down that shield before she gets away again!"
Her hand reaches for the shield. I don't want to hurt her. I tell her, "Don't."
She hesitates. I step between them. Now, she's to my right, and he's to my left.
She steps forward, but she doesn't touch the spikes. I stop fighting the pain, and instead push that into my shield, and I feel her step back away from me again.
She says, "I can't. I can't even touch it."
He says, "then I don't need you for that any more." I only have a split second to realize what he means. He rushes forward, his body melting into a black cloud as he moves. I throw yet another shield up, this one over both of us, and the cloud flows over it like thick ash from a volcano. I feel pressure, almost like a heavy pounding on the outside. This isn't going to hold up to that attack for very long.
She's still looking at me. It doesn't seem to have dawned on her that we're both being attacked. She's not even going to fight back against him.
Not knowing what else to do, I fuse my spiky shield with the outer shield, keeping a wall between myself and her, and begin funneling energy attacks into the outer arc of it. Lightning-like streaks zip through it, making it look like an angry thunderhead, and the pressure is reduced. The smoke rises away from the shield momentarily. I can hear laughter, but it doesn't seem to be centered anywhere. A second later, lightning from the smoke hits the shield. A single bolt impacts the side, hitting so hard that it cracks all the way to the ground.
I melt it back together, realizing that he's attacking her side of the shield to wear me down, but unable to figure out what else to do. Then, inside her half of the bubble, I see another shield go up. She's finally defending herself. I put my hands into the wall of my shield and focus as hard as I can, creating a doorway in the side, and she runs several yards away, keeping herself protected.
The ash re-forms into the creepy guy. He looks back and forth between us. I'm drawing energy for another attack, and she appears to be drawing for one, too. I worry for a moment that it's going to be directed at me, but instead, the two of them go at each other. From behind her, a huge mass of pavement rises into the air and breaks up into little pieces, which rain down on the creepy guy. He belches fire at her, melting the asphalt around her shield into a bubbling mass of goo. She's protected by her shield, but she can't go anywhere.
I fire another blast at him, but my energy is unfocused. He hasn't shielded, so the blast knocks him down the street, but I don't think it did a lot of damage. He doesn't even get up or dust off. He starts crawling toward her on his hands and feet, like a bug. His body becomes longer and thinner. When he gets to the edge of the melted down tar, he lifts up and stretches over it, striking at her shield with a punch that seems to carry more than just physical force. I see it losing its shape, a shockwave rolling through it to the other side.
I have to try again, before he breaks that shield down. I start throwing everything I can at him. If they can move stuff, then I can, too. I focus on one of the huge cement trashcans anchored to the pavement. It comes up, bringing part of the sidewalk with it. I direct it through the air, hitting him from the side. He doesn't even notice that it's coming. It knocks him back into the street and lands on top of him. He crawls out from under, and I can see that now he has many arms and legs, long fangs, and a stinger, but still the same face as before, wearing an obsessed, hungry expression. Ignoring the damage I've done to him, he turns and begins crawling back toward her. He's like some kind of predatory insect, intent only on one thing.
I run forward, hurling a stream of unfocused energy at him as I go. The anger from before breaks through, and all I can think about is him feeding on her all of this time, changing who she is, poisoning her. That acidic feeling fills my chest, and my skin feels hot again. I throw ball after ball of energy, knocking him back, bowling him over, but he keeps getting up. The wave of outrage builds up in my chest, and I let it go, directing it at him like a huge psychic blast.
The wave hits him, tearing huge chunks from the asphalt and throwing them - and him - further down the street. I'm distantly aware of the sound of someone screaming, but my focus is on the monster in front of me. Now, I'm taking whatever I can draw from everything around me, the ground, the buildings, parking meters, everything. I'm using both hands, I'm throwing a barrage of bolts, fiery blasts, and debris at him. His body is taking a pounding, and I can see that this time, damage is being done.
We're dozens of yards from where he started, far enough away that we can no longer see her. He rolls onto his feet, digs his claws into the ground, opens his mouth against the tide of my attacks, and spews out a huge cloud of flying, stinging insects, which spiral up into the air high above my head. I see his body melting into the mass of bugs, and realize he's trying to escape. I turn my attack upward, but the cloud of bugs breaks up and moves away, dodging the blast, and very soon, I can't see any of them. Fearing that they're trying to sneak back to get her, I turn and run at top speed, back the way I came.
No bugs are there, but the doc and the nurse are standing outside my lady's shield, talking to her. Something inside tells me not to go any closer. Instead, I look around. I'm expecting a surprise attack at any moment, but there isn't one. Seconds later, she drops her shield. Each of them puts a hand under one of her arms. They turn as if to walk away, and vanish. I'm pretty sure I know where she's going. He won't be able to get to her there.
I won't see her again, either.
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